Original Poem: America Out

America Out
By A.Z. Foreman

Away from piers the waters pity,
Away from mobs that maul the streets
The last of the police retreats.
The prison empties to the city.

The senile generals wish no end
As their pubescent armies war.
Every professor has a whore
Or an imaginary friend.

The cleric bleeds on his white collar
For one last clerical mistake.
The bloodied boys feel markets shake
The value from a killed clerk's dollar.

The city's final strippers shill
A little poon for bread and booze
From listless men whose mitts peruse
A war-map of the Bronx until

The stone-old torch called liberty
Cracks from the statue's infirm grip
And the millennial waters rip
The rotten pier outright to sea.

2 comments:

  1. As their pubescent armies war.
    Bad and silly. 'As their puerile armies war' fits the case better.


    The value from a killed clerk's dollar.
    If there is one line which proves the fuckwit who who wrote it don't understand prosody in any fucking language, est, est, est.

    The city's final strippers shill
    A little poon for bread and booze

    Look up shill. Fuck you're saying- strippers start talking up poon- why would the do that?- the elderly ho's outside got poon- and like the strippers didn't get 'bread and booze' already? Stirppers got nice titties. That get's them 'bread and booze'.  Tell me, did you write this when you were 11? That's so sweet!
     
    This is more serious

    The stone-old torch called libertyCracks from the statue's infirm gripAnd the millennial waters ripThe rotten pier outright to sea.

    Only a pedant would cavil at this. But if fails. It's meaningless. Doesn't matter. 
    Still, it shows a lot about your crap poetics  and shallowness of thought
    This is English.

    The Stone Cold Torch of Liberty
    Splinters from Her warming grip
    & the Jubilee of Her Tides let rip
    As rotted pier, the States to sea

    What you wrote is crap. Why? Millennial, here has the meaning of hebrew 'Devor', the crack in the Liberty bell etc,  but incohate concept better fits Jubilee which is superior in its associations.

    Incidentally, the whole fucking poem is worthless shite. Grow up. Learn fucking English and, as you do, some little history you cunt.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've just downloaded iStripper, and now I enjoy having the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.

    ReplyDelete

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